Ages 13-18
Teen Mental Health Warning Signs
Look for change and duration, not intensity.
Teenagers are supposed to be moody, private and occasionally awful. What matters is a sustained change from their own baseline over weeks — that's the signal.
What's actually worrying
Any one of these in isolation might mean nothing. Several together, lasting more than two weeks, means it's time to act.
- Dropping the things they used to love, including friends.
- Big changes in sleep or appetite in either direction.
- Falling grades alongside withdrawal.
- Long sleeves in summer, unexplained marks, new secrecy about their body.
- Giving possessions away, or talking about being a burden.
Ask the direct question
Asking about suicide does not plant the idea. It is one of the most protective things you can do, and it has to be asked plainly.
- "Are you thinking about killing yourself?" — those words, not a euphemism.
- Stay calm whatever the answer, and don't fill the silence.
- If the answer is yes, don't leave them alone and get help today.
- Remove or lock away medication, alcohol and anything else dangerous.
Getting help without losing them
Framing matters enormously. Therapy presented as a punishment or a verdict gets refused; presented as normal support, it usually gets accepted.
- Start with your doctor and the school's pastoral or counselling service.
- Give them a say in who they see.
- Tell them what you will and won't share with the therapist.
Self-harm
If you find evidence, react calmly. Shock and anger drive it further underground, and secrecy is the dangerous part.
- Don't demand promises to stop — that just creates hidden relapses.
- Treat wounds practically and without drama.
- Get professional help; this is not one you manage alone.
What to say
Opening the conversation
You haven't seemed like yourself for a few weeks. I'm not asking you to explain it — I just want you to know I've noticed.
Asking directly
Have you been having thoughts about ending your life? You can tell me. I can handle it.
Suggesting help
I want to get you someone to talk to who isn't me. You can help pick them, and it doesn't mean anything's wrong with you.
Where parents get burned
- Waiting to see if it passes when it's already been a month.
- Reacting with panic or anger, which teaches them to conceal.
- Promising to keep a safety risk secret from the other parent or a doctor.
When to loosen up: In an emergency, or if there's an immediate risk to life, contact emergency services now. This page is general guidance and not a substitute for medical or psychological care.
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